Hoping Julie Will Tidy Up Our Life

Newcastle Herald

Monday February 22, 1999

Rosemarie Milsom

I T has taken months of careful consideration but we have decided to invite another woman into our home.

Julie might not realise it yet but she has been called on to give our marriage a much-needed boost.

We both accept that we have fallen into a rut and that it is time for the cobwebs to go . . . as well as the layers of skirting board dust, oven grime and washing chaos.

And although employing a cleaner seems like an uncomplicated move it has meant tossing around pros and cons on and off for the past six months.

The whole thing smacks of laziness and I've always believed that the only people who employed cleaners were those living in two-storey brick homes with plush pile carpet, leather furnishings and a spa.

Haven't I been narrow-minded!

Cleaners are now made welcome in run down inner-city cottages filled with clutter.

The reality is that with the economic rewards of a dual-income family comes a dramatic increase in stress associated with keeping on top of the housework.

We've blamed the problem on disorganisation and apathy ? we don't like doing the housework and therefore we fail to dedicate enough time to getting it done.

That is what we have been telling each other, but it took an observer to point out that after working, cooking and helping our son with homework there aren't many spare hours.

We barely have time to be lazy if we also want to enjoy a moment of leisure such as an evening swim or stroll.

So we have decided to buy back our leisure time.

It sounds like such a 90s concept but it is one that will continue to gain momentum as families try to do it all.

The truth is that they can't.

But browse through glossy magazines and watch the soapies and you can be fooled into thinking that it is possible to work full-time, cook well-balanced meals, keep fit and enjoy `quality time' with your beloved.

You stare at the pretty picture and start to wonder why your portrait is blurred.

You look around and spot a mountain of clothes looking for a cupboard and an atmosphere charged with with frustration and tension.

It doesn't happen straight away, but you know something is wrong when you start to argue over putting each other's socks away.

Lines are drawn, tasks are distributed and rosters are pinned on the fridge.

A 1997 study carried out by the Australian Institute of Family Studies estimated that working parents were spending 70 hours or more on business and family duties each week.

My heart goes out to single parents who juggle it all on their own.

At least we have the opportunity to whinge and catastrophise together.

Contacting Julie has injected us with enthusiasm.

No more weekends spent scrubbing the bath, no more talk about getting the dusting done and then feeling guilty because you spent the time at the park and no more fights about whose turn it is to vacuum.

But even now there are occasional twinges of guilt.

Of course it would all be much simpler if one of us stayed at home even for a couple of days a week.

We've tried that arrangement in the past but employers implement restrictions and the honeymoon has a use-by date.

It was nice having someone who cleared away the build-up of grime before the weekend arrived.

I would come home after a long day to find a full fridge, an empty washing basket and dinner on the table.

But we now have Julie and we both agree that having a cleaner is a luxury worth working for.